Music Tour- Day One

Okay, finally I have a QWERTY keyboard and a chance to type up about stuff that happened on Music Tour! I haven't gotten very far yet, so for now I'll just post about the first day (and basically the only thing that happened on that day was that I went on an aeroplane).

Day One- Thursday 14th April

Thursday started like a normal day because I had to go to school first. Packing then had to be rushed, since we hadn’t had enough time to do so earlier, and packing was only made worse by the fact that my suitcase weighed 20kg and we had a 15kg weight limit due to the instruments. In the end, I had to pack my smaller backpack inside my larger one and shove two pairs of shoes in my larger backpack. All the while, I had the Flower Duet from Lakmé stuck in my head, which was ironic considering that that song was also stuck in my head on my flight home last year.

At the airport, I realised that I didn’t know how to operate my lock properly. When I worked out how to close it, I didn’t turn the dials enough (it was a combination lock). I only turned the top dial one space, so it was easy for something to rub against it and thus open the lock. We then decided to get another lock that I would know how to use, so Dad went up to get another lock, but…

… HE GOT THE SAME TYPE OF LOCK.

I’m not joking.

Anyway, I figured out how to use the lock in the end, so all was well. My suitcase ended up being 18 or so kilos, but nobody cared.

Since I had forgotten to bring my watch with me, we bought another one duty free. After that, I proceeded through passport control and security and then sat on a couch with a bunch of other people for ages. Our flight was delayed for about an hour, while all the time I was feeling a little anxious worrying about things like my lock and whether I had forgotten anything else. To top it off, every toilet cubicle I went into had a sign saying “Anxiety is paralysing” on the back of the door.

Eventually, we boarded the plane. I was seated between Jonty and Marta (middle seat in the left group of 3), as expected. We all had some fun playing with the phones on the seat while waiting. Angus called my seat even though he was right behind me, and when I answered the phone he replied with a “’Sup, Kayley?”

After some announcements in English and Arabic (the one thing better than a random PA announcement is a random PA announcement in a language you don’t understand), people fiddling with the phones had to stop because they had been disabled for take-off.

Jonty pointed at one of the illuminated signs at the front of the cabin, saying, “Look, that’s the sign that says you can’t call people!”
“Wait… which one?” Marta and I asked.
“That one! Next to the non-smoking sign!” was Jonty’s answer.

The non-smoking sign was on the far left, so there could only really be one sign he was talking about. Upon seeing which sign it was, I inwardly shuddered, and let loose a little nervous laughter.

“No, Jonty. That’s the toilet sign.”

Eventually the plane took off, and there was a mad scramble as we moved around once the seatbelt sign had gone off. My main concern was that I got an aisle seat so that I didn’t have to annoy anyone every time I needed to go to the toilet, so I just swapped with Marta. Jonty moved off, and Karri took his place. This worked out badly for Marta in a way- she ended up with the personal TV with the broken touch screen.

I played DS for a few hours, and when there were roughly 7 ½ hours remaining of the flight, I decided that I should get some sleep. However, doing so would require that I rinse my mouth and prepare my grinding plate for application, and the only really reasonable place to do those things was in the aeroplane toilet cubicle.

I had several weird fears that turning on the water or unlocking the door before flushing would cause the toilet to automatically flush, and I wasn’t particularly keen on hearing that loud flushing sound, at least not suddenly. I simply stood there for around half a minute, before deciding to simply flush the toilet so that I would know for sure that it would flush (as you can see, I was caught between a rock and a hard place here). As I flushed it, I dared it to “scare me” (out loud, but not too loud), and I must have somehow intimidated it, because it was actually pretty quiet!

For the rest of the flight, I tried to sleep. Sleeping was difficult because the light from the TV screens distracted me (it obviously didn’t occur to me to use the eyepatch provided in the amenity kit I was given) and there was nowhere comfortable to put my legs due to having stowed my clarinet under the seat in front of me. Also, I managed to spill water in the worst possible place- between my legs- so that was not fun. It felt rather mocking too as I used to be afraid of aeroplane toilets. I think I semi-slept for six hours, after which I cleaned out my grinding plate again in the dreaded toilet cubicle. This time, I got a bit too carried away with the “Scare me!” thing. I practically half-yelled it and I think some of the random normal people at the front of my cabin must have heard, because at least one guy was looking/half-staring at me. I did my best to ignore it, and made my way back to my seat casually… just casually…

Four days!

There was a time when it made sense to be afraid of loud noises. From the helium balloon in the stairwell when I was five, right up until last year, I had never thought that it could be otherwise. I knew that the reason I feared things that others did not, such as balloons, was due to loud noises, but I had never dared to question why I feared loud noises until that night last year. It was only then that I accepted that my fear was real, and it was this acceptance which gave me the strength to fight my fear.

There was once a time when my fear made me physically ill, and, waking up, it felt miraculous to have lived another day.

But that time is not any more. With my fear down the toilet (literally and metaphorically), I am now free. In four days' time, I am bound for Europe, and neither loud noise, nor balloon, nor aeroplane toilet will hold me back.

Aeroplane toilets in decibels

According to the blog Sound + Design, aeroplane toilets flush at 106dB- about as loud as a car horn or a timpani. According to other random sites, flush toilets generally flush at only 75-85dB. According to some other site I found called HearingAidKnow, a difference of 20dB makes a sound seem twice as loud.

Hah.

28 days remaining, and some travel tips have gone up.

1. Remember to bring power adaptors, or you won't be able to plug in your hair straightener.
2. (Forgot, will put it up if and when I remember.) (EDIT: 19/3/11: The travel tips are still up on the noticeboard so I now know that the second tip is "Look after your bubble wrap." I'll explain this later.)
3. Don't spend all of your money in the transit airport.
4. Write your name on all of your white shirts. It will make them easier to identify.

EDIT 19/3/11: If you're confused about the bubble wrap issue, I'll explain. Today, bubble wrap was distributed to people so they could wrap up their instruments to protect it on the flights. We were told that our bubble wrap is to last us for the whole trip, hence having to look after it. Instruments small enough to carry in the cabin don't need bubble wrap if they're going to be carried in that way, though I did see an oboe player walk around with bubble wrap today.

Songs that are significant to me- Part 2

The Singing Magicians

(Video taking too long to upload at the moment- will re-attempt at a later date.)

This was the first song I composed for a lot of instruments. Before, the maximum number of instruments I had composed for was four: Bb trumpet, Bb clarinet, piano and violin. The Singing Magicians started out with 12 because I was using manuscript paper with only 12 lines per page, but since then one or two more have been added. The snare drums don't sound remotely like snare drums on this recording, and some instruments are too overpowering, but at least most instruments sound reasonably similar to their real-life counterparts.

Another reason this song is significant to me is because it's about my imaginary world of Mimaiya. The Singing Magicians group started as a student resistance group against a particular vaccine and now they help eradicate any remaining members of the Dark Ninja Force.

Pictures in the video in order are: the gates of Xiniyan Academy (a school in Mimaiya for true magicals), the Singing Magicians' logo ("Uphold Truth and Peace"), and then the Mimaiyan spirits for the arts, life, water, fire, earth, air, light, shadow and electricity, in that order.

OOPS, I missed out Hiela, the spirit of Defence. My bad.

Jei

When I started this song, I was thinking of the Mimaiyan Light Brigade- a resistance group against the Singing Magicians. Yes, I know, a resistance group against a resistance group.

When I was sick before Canberra Tour, though, I found that the war dance part of the song always got stuck in my head whenever I thought about aeroplane toilets. The song then began to morph into something about how I got over my fear of aeroplane toilets, but I think I totally stuffed up the ending and haven't been bothered changing it. I decided to instead make a song solely dedicated to how I overcame my phobia in that little room in the sky.

The Raindrop Prelude and Venetian Boat Song no. 2

The Raindrop Prelude- Chopin
Venetian Boat Song No. 2- Mendelssohn

When I was sick before Canberra Tour, I found that playing these two songs on the piano really helped to calm me down.

The Flower Duet

The Flower Duet from Lakmé- Delibes

This song was stuck in my head as I boarded the 737 (yes, THE 737) on the way home from Canberra, effectively calming me down and making me feel like I could flush that aeroplane toilet.

Beautiful and The Voice Within

Beautiful- Christina Aguilera
The Voice Within- Christina Aguilera

There's a lot I can say about why these songs are significant to me. I'll just break it down by lyrics and try not to say too much. After all I do have English homework, and I have to memorise something for Chinese, plus I have a neuroscience booklet to read. Bleh.

Every day is so wonderful

That reminds me of the two weeks I was sick before Canberra Tour. Waking up each morning, I was like, "Wow, I'm still here!"

Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain, I’m so ashamed

We live in a world where the phobic can't help but be ashamed of it, as if it's our fault we're afraid or something.

To all your friends, you’re delirious
So consumed in all your doom

Sometimes I don't say much, because I can't think of much else other than misery or anxiety at that moment.

When you’re safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing’s harder than it seems

Sort of like my imaginary world, except there are challenges there too.

Young girl, don’t hide
You’ll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you’re gonna see your brighter day

OMG. The mindset that helped me to conquer my phobia!!!!

Life is a journey

Hence "Da Rendora," the title of my diary.

That's it from me... for now. English homework time! I have no idea what to write...

Songs that are significant to me

For some reason I decided to think about songs that represent me. Maybe it's because I'm studying songs in English. Anyway, this is probably going to be a long post with a lot of videos. Here goes:

1. I Still Call Australia Home and The Aeroplane Song

Surprise surprise, these two are first.

If that actually did come as a surprise to you, let me tell you this: I conquered my phobia of loud noises to the tune of The Aeroplane Song (featured at the end of my video in my post The Journey: Live Another Day with additions) followed by I Still Call Australia Home. The Journey, a 15-page Word document I wrote detailing how I conquered my phobia, mentions this.

And so, after locating the flush button I walked into the cubicle and began to sing the aeroplane song that I made up when I was about 10- the one with only two lines.

“Aeroplane, flying high
Aeroplane, in the sky”

Even though that song now enters my head at a much higher pitch than it used to, I hit that first note, a high E flat, pretty nicely. That song sounded the best I’d ever heard it in that tiny cubicle since everything resonated in there quite well.

It calmed me down until I actually had to flush the toilet. Ever since my first encounter with an aeroplane toilet I have not been able to stay in the cubicle while flushing it. I wanted this time to be different, but I was petrified.

So I compromised. I washed my hands and unlocked the door and started singing I Still Call Australia Home again and only when my hand was on the handle for me to make a quick escape, I flushed it.

Although the sudden noise made me jump I found that one emotion that I would normally expect to be there was not. Fear. I was not afraid of the aeroplane toilet.

2. Eleanor Rigby, Help!, Viva la Vida, Final Countdown and Fireflies

(Videos removed due to blog post being too slow to load. I'll provide links instead.)
Eleanor Rigby- The Beatles
Help!- The Beatles
Viva la Vida- Coldplay (note: for some reason, this link sometimes takes me to the login page of Youtube).
The Final Countdown- Europe
Fireflies- Owl City

These are all grouped together because I believe that all of these songs encouraged me to listen to different genres of music, not just classical.

School was the main reason I began paying attention to these songs (with the exception of maybe Viva la Vida). We looked at Eleanor Rigby and Help! in Music Literature and we're playing Fireflies and The Final Countdown in band.

Also this line from Eleanor Rigby caught my attention:

Waits at the window, wearing a mask that she keeps in a jar by the door,
Who is it for?

3. Soundtrack from The Legend of Spyro

I think the soundtrack (well some of the tracks anyway) got me interested in choral music and gave me a different perspective on orchestral music. In addition, This Broken Soul (The Legend of Spyro: The Eternal Night which will be referred to hereafter as TEN) and Guide You Home (The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon which will be referred to hereafter as DotD) also encouraged me to listen to other genres of music.

Some of the other more significant tracks include (names are taken from the composers' website):

1. Cinematic (The Legend of Spyro: A New Beginning which will be referred to hereafter as ANB, DotD)
2. Cynder Boss Convexity (ANB)
3. The credits music from ANB (which is also used in one level in DotD)
4. Dragon Temple (ANB) to some extent
5. Black Powers (TEN)
6. Dragon Temple (TEN)
7. Grove Action (TEN)
8. Well of Souls (TEN)
9. Burned Lands (DotD)
10. Dragon City Golem Encounters (DotD)
11. Small Valley Action (DotD)
12. Small Valley (DotD)

All of these tracks can be heard at http://kneubuhlmann.com/music.html.

4. Saint-Saëns' Sonata for Clarinet and Piano

I can't play the middle bit.

Anyway... sometimes, when I'm upset, I think "let the river flow" and this song comes into my head.

5. Bohemian Rhapsody

Again, this one helped me to listen to a wider variety of music. My first experience with it was playing it on my clarinet at Health Camp.

Sometimes, when I'm really upset, the line "any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me" comes into my head.

This one probably relates more to the imaginary me (whose title and first name are in this blog's URL) though. She was protesting against something violently. Thank goodness true magicals can use resurrection abilities depending on the situation, or she would be even more beside herself than she is now.

6. The Pi Song



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I'll have to round it off there- this post is getting long and is making my computer slow, plus I have to go and play clarinet now. There will be more later though!

My Journey

I was listening to the music from the ending scene of "The King's Speech" because I have to write an essay about it (I'm serious). Looking through the comments, this one caught my eye (and my mind, too):

"You are absolutely right immutabledude. What a piece of music to combine with the speech. The overcoming of a man's fears mixed with Beethoven. Just wonderful." -syedaamirmsd

It reminded me of how my fears were overcome with "I Still Call Australia Home" in a Boeing 737 toilet.

I found this email to my friend, dated 5th of March, 2007, detailing my plane flights to and from Singapore. Here's some of it- you can see how much I've changed.

I was busting to go pee. I really was. You see, when you're EXCITED, you really needa go! So, when I went to my seat, I asked the stewardess where the toilet was. "Yes, just here," she said, gesturing to the toilet door. I walked over and tried to push the door open. I pressed everywhere except for the middle. So I asked the stewardess how to open the door. She said: "Yes, these doors are really hard to open. Push in the middle." So, I pushed in the middle.

The smell hit me like a pang. And the size. It was awful. I went inside and locked the door. I lifted the lid and sat on the toilet. I did you-know-what, and then I got up. Instead of being smart enough to close the lid, I just pressed the flush button. I freaked out immensly. I was half screaming, half gasping, washing my hands at the same time. I was leaning towards the door. Leaning away from the evil Thing that was making the horrible, dreaded noise.

I didn't know how to turn the water off. I pressed every button I could see (other than the flush button). So, I unlocked and opened the door only to find the stewardess standing about 10cm away from the door (she might have heard me making "oh! oh!" noises). "That was FREAKY!" I said. And do you know what the stewardess said? Well, do you? She said, "Well, next time you know not to!" She giggled. Then I said, "How do you turn the water off?" Leaning forward, she said, "You just..." and then I noticed the water was no longer running and replied, "It's off now."

I sat down on my seat next to the Thing for about 5 minutes. I must have been shaking like hell. I was so scared, I needed to pee again. Yes, again. I tried to put it off and watch the seats filling up. But I kept on thinking the Thing was flushing! In the end I got really scared. I remembered what the stewardess had said: "I'm going to return to my cabin now. If you need us, just step there," gesturing to the section where the stewardesses are. I tentatively stepped round to the back and said, "I feel... queasy." I didn't exactly mean that, but it just came out. The two stewardesses there offered me a plastic bag. I said, "No, it's not that... I just feel..."

"Scared?" the stewardesses asked.

"Yes," I replied.

The two stewardesses told me to sit down on one of the crew's chairs and they started talking to me. They gave me a glass of water and they noticed the book I had in my hand (The Da Vinci Code). They both said they've read it, but didn't understand it! I told them that the thing that was freaking me out was the toilet flush. That's when one of the stewardesses (who had long, blonde hair tied up into a ponytail) said, "That's alright! I hate it too. Just tell us when you need to go and we'll flush it for you!" The other stewardess (with short red hair) tactfully kept quiet. I don't think she particularly wanted to flush the Thing for me. They also said I should close the lid. I had never closed a toilet lid in my whole entire life!

(the flight on the way home)

I settled down to eat my meal of spaghetti and meatballs. (I ate only the meatballs- I don't like spaghetti.) I ate the salad and of course, the passionfruit yoghurt dessert. After that, I found I needed to pee.

No escape, of course. Five hours without doing a pee? Uh... I don't think so.

So I knew that whether I liked it or not, I would have to use that Thing! It was occupied, so I stood up to make a 1-person queue. A lady got out of the cubicle and held the door open for me. I must have looked scared, because she asked me, "Are you alright?"

Me, being truthful, replied, "Yes... but... a little scared..."

I went inside and took great care not to look down the Thing. It freaks me out, to see just a hole and no water. Of course I locked the door as well.

I made plans to make three deep breaths before flushing the Thing. But, after I got up from the Thing I closed the lid, but I could only get past one deep breath when I said to myself, "I'm not gonna be able to take this." So, I washed my hands and unlocked the door. I held it open and pressed the flush button with my free hand. I got out before it flushed- got lucky!

Hehe. End of story.

In case you're interested, my friend's reply included these words:

Hey, guess what, Mum says we'll be going on holiday soon

and we'll have to fly there! So, should we have to "go"........

The toilet of doom awaits!!!!!!

You know, aeroplane toilets aren't so bad, I mean without them.! Can you imagine a plane full of busting people on a long flight!

Wow. I am printing out that email and taking it on the plane with me to Europe.

46 days!!!

The Journey: Live Another Day with additions

This is a video that combines all of what I've written of The Journey: Live Another Day.

In order, the excerpts that appear are:

1. The Awakening
2. Walking down the 737 aisle
3. Carolyn and Lucy
4. The Aeroplane Song

Google and Aeroplane Toilets

I randomly googled "aeroplane toilets" and on the first page alone these headings came up:

"POLL: do aeroplane toilets scare you? - Yahoo!7 Answers"
"Fear of aeroplane toilets - how to overcome? - TheSite.org boards"
"Aeroplane toilets scare the hell out of me!! - Local Business ... "

The last one is actually a Facebook group, so I'm not sure why "local business" came up in the title on Google.

Words to "Walking down the 737 aisle"

I've finally written some lyrics!

Harsh it is, the path you travel lonely,
Fear awaits, but forward you must journey.
On you march, your face it shows so little,
Hiding fast behind the mask you've crafted.
Sadness is that no-one understands
The turmoil within.
But you must learn to accept the troubles you are given.
There are things you must accept before you hope to change them.

Fear and Courage

I found this article on Psychology Today titled "The F Word (and the C Word)." No, it's not about the F word and C word that people generally think of immediately. The F Word is "Fear" and the C Word "Courage."

One line that caught my eye was:

According to these researchers, the difference between courage and fearlessness is the aspect of feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

I guess that's like that time on the 737 when every muscle in my body was screaming at me to run when I was at the front of the queue, but I just told the toilet door to "stop looking at me like that" (yes, I actually did mutter that under my breath), went into the dreaded toilet cubicle once it was vacant, locked the door, did my business and FLUSHED THE DAMN THING.

Random dream last night

I had a random dream that I was flushing a vacuum toilet loads of times and I was thinking, "This isn't scary at all." It felt like indifference, though if I was seriously that indifferent to vacuum toilets then I wouldn't have flushed it as many times as I did in my dream.

Anyway that was a very good dream. Sorta makes me feel like I can do anything- even go on a plane for an 11 hour flight.